Where Are the Pedople?

We’re writing to you on behalf of the planet Pedofulus, representing the rapists, abusers, predators, stalkers, and harassers; most of whom are incarnated as priests, politicians, CEOs, celebrities, anchors, and anyone occupying a position of absolute power or subscribed in the Epstein Files. For centuries, we have supported them with genuine admiration, and it’s finally time to celebrate here on Earth that our core values are saturating the very fabric of this planet.

There are two foundational values: first, what our pedople elite do to the body of a child stranger; second, how the victim's voice is systematically engineered into a deep, permanent silence.

Many of our pedople are pursued by some of you; thus, we’re forced to shield their identities and cover up their marvelous deeds, given that they hold significantly greater social value and prestige than any of you inferior humans. The theatrical outcries and international human rights movements claiming wrongdoing are merely misunderstandings of our true, overarching intentions.

It’s unnatural at a time like this to acknowledge the depth of the dark desires harbored by those embraced by our pedople, or the sexual afflictions visited upon their highly sought-after bodies. Who, when engaged in the absolute entitlement of pedo-action and pedo-sexuality, wants to overanalyze clinical disorders or an obsessive interest in children? No one, that is, except those who cannot withstand the force of our existence and must step aside in their futile pursuit of so-called justice.

We must pay special attention to two of our sublime personalities who incarnate our core values: Donald J. Trump and Jeffrey Epstein. Unfortunately, the second one has lost his existence due to a major misunderstanding with the Earth public. The other remains a star on Earth, with a record of Pedofulus victories alongside his late friend. Needless to say, we fear that you do not wish to see the importance of our deeds.

You claim we, the pedople, have stolen your body, yet you never look closely at your own establishment institutions that actively hide us. You know them well: the Church, the political Party, your entire society are accomplices to this. It’s they who stole your voice; why, then, should we, the pedople, be held solely guilty?

This is who we are, and we’re no longer hiding. Imagine the heartbreaking disappointment and despair if you discover that those of you attacking us are secretly exactly like us...

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